It doesn't come much from calculation. From looking ahead or reading Shinya's moves. No, it comes more from the fact that he's a survivor. He'll scrape and claw his way to keep going. On some level, it's a fear. That he'll be seen as more of a failure. As the son who gave up on it all.
But he's not going to. He's going to hold onto what he has until it's forcibly pulled from him. Almost like how Kougami yanks his wrist out of his grip, a nearly unhinged looking smile pulling the corners of his mouth up, up. Gino can feel his heart against his ribcage, the thump thump rhythm of his pulse loud and clear. Briefly, he panics and struggles under Shinya's weight– can he tell that the beating isn't just from the adrenaline?
Maybe, maybe not, because his hand is being pinned above his head. The other one is free to move, to twist and try to shove Kougami off of him. It's a rather ineffective motion, the other man has always been heavier than him. Shifting his hips, he slides lower, the muscles in his shoulder pulling taut. There's a better angle here, to try and escape.
Gino moves his hand, heel of it coming up to hit against the bottom of Shinya's jaw. He can't be trapped like this. It's making his head spin and his stomach flip. ]
[Pinned as he is, there simply isn't enough force in Gino's push to dissuade Shinya. Although he has little choice but to tip his head back, that's it; Shinya makes no other allowances. His grip on Gino's hand is as relentless as ever. What's more, he can feel Gino trying to get free.
Shinya lets out a quiet grunt, pitching his whole weight downward as Gino twists under him. Then Gino shifts, his hips bucking, and Shinya is suddenly very aware of just how close they are.
He remembers their conversation earlier that morning - less the exact words and more the feeling of want and the undercurrent of tension - and knows they've tread into dangerous territory. He looks down at Gino (Gino, with his tousled sweat-dampened hair and narrowed eyes), and suddenly, it's hard to breathe.]
[ There won't ever really be enough force. Gino doesn't have the same strength. HIs fighting style relies more on quick bursts and speed. Up against someone who can keep pace with him and who has enough power to back it– he doesn't have a chance.
Then again, when has he ever had a chance when Kougami is involved?
At the soft grunt, Gino pauses, feeling his face flush when he realizes he's half-hard. As inconspicuously as possible, he shrinks into himself, nervously licking his lips. ]
[Gino's nervousness is plain on his face. Shinya understands. Sympathizes. He's nervous too, a strange mix of elation and adrenaline and tension surging through his veins. They're teetering on the edge of a precipice, and he doesn't know what lies at the bottom, only what lies behind them: weeks and months and years of building frustrations, cumulating in this moment. It's not pleasant, exactly, but it's not bad either. It's familiar territory, safe and secure. He can understand the appeal of that.
Even now, he can still guide them back from the brink. It would only take a second - he only has to climb off Gino and offer his hand, helping him up as well.
But he's never been one to turn tail and hide.
He's never been one to force his attentions on someone when they're unwanted, either.
Carefully, Shinya loosens his grip on Gino's hand, and looks down at him, calm and utterly focused, in a way different from his intensity a moment before. He's made his decision. It's time for Gino to make his.]
You remember what we've discussed this morning, [he says, quiet.] You know my feelings on the matter. I don't like asking you the same thing again and again, but...
If you really don't want this, then I won't ask you again. Or if you need more time to consider, I can drop this until you're ready. [He's starting to ramble, isn't he? But he want Gino to know all his options.] Just -
[ For a moment, Shinya seems to hesitate. Not in the same way that Gino's done in the past so many times. No, instead, he looks like he's deciding. Considering.
The grip around his wrist goes slack and Ginoza's met with a familiar intensity. Shinya's figured it out. Figured him out– this shouldn't be surprising. In a way it isn't, but the knowledge is enough to make him feel winded. Swallowing, he glances away, moving his arm to a more comfortable position.
Or rather, it gets about halfway there before he pauses, fingers hovering mere centimeters away from touching Kougami. He wants this, has wanted this, for so long. It breaks all duty, all of the things he's supposed to be and what he's going to do. Heirs don't mess around with other heirs. With Shinya's standing, if they were caught it'd be a disaster.
Except his heart feels like it wants to beat out of his chest, the sound of it is so loud in his ears. Slowly, Gino turns his head back to look up at his friend, emotion clear as day on his face. The distance between his fingers and the peek of Kougami's collarbone closes, tips tracing the line of it. ]
This...this is what I've wanted. [ His words are hushed, as though he's saying them more to himself than answering a question. ]
[There's one tense moment where Gino does nothing except look at him, then glance away. Shinya barely breathes.
Then Gino meets his eyes again. A light touch ghosts over his collarbone, gentle and intimate, and Shinya knows what the answer is going to be before Gino speaks. His lips curl up into a small, fond smile. It's a big step for both of them, but more than that, it's a big step for Gino.]
Then let's not keep hesitating.
[Words and actions. There is an appropriate time for each. Right now, he lets instinct take over, fingers curling more tightly around Gino's wrists again as he leans in, eyes closing. His lips press against Gino's, a little clumsy from inexperience, but sweet and genuine all the same.]
[ Confirmation is on Kougami's face before the words even come out. Gino feels his pulse leap and it makes him a little dizzy with the knowledge. That Shinya wants this. Wants him.
Is willing to make the first move and more. He can't even vocalise how he feels, so he doesn't. Instead, he arches into the soft kiss, telling his friend exactly what he needs to know. Their lips fit together easily, even in the inexperience from both ends. Gino lets out a quiet note of appreciation– this feels right. And more freeing than he thinks he's ever been. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tags this to Selena Gomez's "Good for You"
It doesn't come much from calculation. From looking ahead or reading Shinya's moves. No, it comes more from the fact that he's a survivor. He'll scrape and claw his way to keep going. On some level, it's a fear. That he'll be seen as more of a failure. As the son who gave up on it all.
But he's not going to. He's going to hold onto what he has until it's forcibly pulled from him. Almost like how Kougami yanks his wrist out of his grip, a nearly unhinged looking smile pulling the corners of his mouth up, up. Gino can feel his heart against his ribcage, the thump thump rhythm of his pulse loud and clear. Briefly, he panics and struggles under Shinya's weight– can he tell that the beating isn't just from the adrenaline?
Maybe, maybe not, because his hand is being pinned above his head. The other one is free to move, to twist and try to shove Kougami off of him. It's a rather ineffective motion, the other man has always been heavier than him. Shifting his hips, he slides lower, the muscles in his shoulder pulling taut. There's a better angle here, to try and escape.
Gino moves his hand, heel of it coming up to hit against the bottom of Shinya's jaw. He can't be trapped like this. It's making his head spin and his stomach flip. ]
whispers gaaaaaaaaaay
Shinya lets out a quiet grunt, pitching his whole weight downward as Gino twists under him. Then Gino shifts, his hips bucking, and Shinya is suddenly very aware of just how close they are.
He remembers their conversation earlier that morning - less the exact words and more the feeling of want and the undercurrent of tension - and knows they've tread into dangerous territory. He looks down at Gino (Gino, with his tousled sweat-dampened hair and narrowed eyes), and suddenly, it's hard to breathe.]
Gino...
how is this surprising in the least
Then again, when has he ever had a chance when Kougami is involved?
At the soft grunt, Gino pauses, feeling his face flush when he realizes he's half-hard. As inconspicuously as possible, he shrinks into himself, nervously licking his lips. ]
Shinya?
no subject
Even now, he can still guide them back from the brink. It would only take a second - he only has to climb off Gino and offer his hand, helping him up as well.
But he's never been one to turn tail and hide.
He's never been one to force his attentions on someone when they're unwanted, either.
Carefully, Shinya loosens his grip on Gino's hand, and looks down at him, calm and utterly focused, in a way different from his intensity a moment before. He's made his decision. It's time for Gino to make his.]
You remember what we've discussed this morning, [he says, quiet.] You know my feelings on the matter. I don't like asking you the same thing again and again, but...
If you really don't want this, then I won't ask you again. Or if you need more time to consider, I can drop this until you're ready. [He's starting to ramble, isn't he? But he want Gino to know all his options.] Just -
Be honest with me.
no subject
The grip around his wrist goes slack and Ginoza's met with a familiar intensity. Shinya's figured it out. Figured him out– this shouldn't be surprising. In a way it isn't, but the knowledge is enough to make him feel winded. Swallowing, he glances away, moving his arm to a more comfortable position.
Or rather, it gets about halfway there before he pauses, fingers hovering mere centimeters away from touching Kougami. He wants this, has wanted this, for so long. It breaks all duty, all of the things he's supposed to be and what he's going to do. Heirs don't mess around with other heirs. With Shinya's standing, if they were caught it'd be a disaster.
Except his heart feels like it wants to beat out of his chest, the sound of it is so loud in his ears. Slowly, Gino turns his head back to look up at his friend, emotion clear as day on his face. The distance between his fingers and the peek of Kougami's collarbone closes, tips tracing the line of it. ]
This...this is what I've wanted. [ His words are hushed, as though he's saying them more to himself than answering a question. ]
no subject
Then Gino meets his eyes again. A light touch ghosts over his collarbone, gentle and intimate, and Shinya knows what the answer is going to be before Gino speaks. His lips curl up into a small, fond smile. It's a big step for both of them, but more than that, it's a big step for Gino.]
Then let's not keep hesitating.
[Words and actions. There is an appropriate time for each. Right now, he lets instinct take over, fingers curling more tightly around Gino's wrists again as he leans in, eyes closing. His lips press against Gino's, a little clumsy from inexperience, but sweet and genuine all the same.]
no subject
Is willing to make the first move and more. He can't even vocalise how he feels, so he doesn't. Instead, he arches into the soft kiss, telling his friend exactly what he needs to know. Their lips fit together easily, even in the inexperience from both ends. Gino lets out a quiet note of appreciation– this feels right. And more freeing than he thinks he's ever been. ]