[ No rest for the weary, or so they say. It's become her mantra over these long series of days. Truthfully, they'd started to blend together at the edges. Where one report began and another cup of coffee ended is nearly impossible to distinguish. All carry the same stale memory of the Bureau's halogen lights overhead, and the kind of accomplishment Akane has come to associate with loneliness. A victory at a price was par for the course — lives were lost because of her, and lives were also saved. Protected beneath the veil of normalcy Sibyl so selflessly provides. Only Akane has lifted that barrier and survived to tell about it. Married to the job, and still a poor bride. Togane Sakuya and Kamui Kirito are both gone, and she's left to dissolve their secrets into paperwork.
To fit violent bloodstains neatly behind red tape. Or in the case of her grandmother, to quietly take the calls from her family away from the department. That way, no one has to see her face when they tell her it's better for her to not help oversee it. She's busy, after all, and they understand...
As soon as she's neatly returned a stack of bound and organized files to the table in front of her, she finds her weight resting against Ginoza's shoulder. Exhaustion has a peculiar kind of warmth. A creeping kind, almost. Tangible when it moves within her. When Gino takes a nick at her, a smile curves its way into his arm. It's as fond as it is knowing. Perhaps she's just being selfish by spending so much time here lately. Not just in his quarters, but by his side. ]
Will that be a problem?
[ Akane rarely asks questions she won't get an answer to. And luckily, Ginoza is fond of answers she doesn't precisely ask for. His constant concern over her Hue to balance her rarely thinking about it is one such example. This is another. How it feels right, regardless. Idly, her tired hands smooth at the edges of his sleeve. ]
I won't impose so much when I find the time to move.
[ Divorced from what kept her interest in it, her apartment has simply become another empty crime scene. ]
[ If it's a problem, then it's one he's willing to live with. He can't say she makes unpleasant company, because he really does enjoy having her here. They've become even closer than where they'd been over a year ago. Hilariously enough, it'd taken him becoming an Enforcer to make it happen. ]
No, not at all.
[ His response is quiet, but he means every word. Her idle gestures give him a small feeling of warmth, and he uses his free hand to cover her fingers. ]
You're never an imposition, Tsunemori.
[ That came out bolder than he was usually, but he's not going to take the words back. For one, it keeps her out of her apartment– still one he considered a crime scene, regardless of the fact that they're cleaning up after that case. And well, back to his original point; he likes Akane. A lot. She's everything he wasn't, something he should rightfully feel frustration over. Except he's seen what she's gone through, the sacrifices she's made in order to stand strong. To stick by what was in her core. Ginoza knows he can't be like her, can't deal with things in her way (with a seemingly easy grace). So he'll be a support instead, happily sticking to her side, whether that means he's overshadowed or not. ]
[ Akane knows he still prefers to think of it as a grim twist of fate. Irony at its purest. Now, after everything, she has heart enough to be amused. In her eyes, it's always been straightforward. Shepherd 1 doesn't need Hound 1 at her beck and call. Inspector Tsunemori Akane needs Enforcer Ginoza Nobuchika at her right hand to help her protect others as best she can. It takes tragedy to appreciate life, loss to appreciate those who stay. As touch and go as it was, Akane would have spent every day with her hand to that plastic cell door to prove it. Her hand, and not her badge.
She happily chalks it up to being workaholics that this wasn't the case. That, and two months of faith that was anything but blind. There is no shadow to stand in as long as he walks beside her, after all.
That's why Akane never wonders at the merit of blood being thicker than water, or interchangeable with steel. Ginoza's gloved hand settles over hers, and she cradles it gently, tracing her fingertips over the unyielding outline. There's a subtle familiarity to her touch, a fondness in the way her thumb glides over the material guarding his knuckles. ]
Is that to keep me from going back to my apartment again, I wonder?
[ Gino is a worrier on the best of days. On the job, she tries to keep herself from taking advantage of it. Here, it's a little different. Her brows arch as she glances up at him. ]
[ There's a moment of comfortable silence before she answers. It's something he enjoys, the fact that they don't need to fill the spaces. They're comfortable just sitting next to each other, keeping the other company. Her fingers curl around his prosthetic (a reminder, it's still painful to think about), touch gentle and affectionate.
She doesn't blame him. She never will. That part of their relationship gives him strength– she has more steel in her than he'll ever have. And he'll give everything back to her, all of it, as much as he can. ]
Well...it might be part of the reason.
[ Caught red-handed. ]
I worry. And you're overworked.
[ He doesn't want her to overstress and spend time alone for so long. Especially not after so much loss. ]
[ That comment seems to quiet her, though not in an unkind way. Only her knowledge of how deep his loyalty goes in the wake of so much wrong keeps it from digging in. And that lies at the heart of the matter — Akane knows him. If he wanted to make the statement hurt, he could. He never does, even when he worries. Not even to make a point. ]
We're likely going to be short-handed for a while. One or two replacements is one thing, but this time... [ Division 1 was lucky enough to gain a new Enforcer quickly. He'd proved invaluable in the short time he'd been brought on. A trial by fire. Others didn't fare so fortunately, and her expression dims momentarily. ] We have the manpower to continue to help. I'll be fine.
[ In retaliation, she brings her hand up from his prosthetic to the angle of his jaw. She has to reach to do so, but she doesn't mind. ]
[ Short-handed for a while is a bit of understatement. He's been with the Bureau long enough to know how much effort it can be to re-hire. Perhaps less so for the fallen Enforcers, but definitely a trial for new Inspectors. Their ranks will be so green, it's a bit worrisome.
But that's for another day. For now, he glances down at Akane, watching her expression go blank for a moment. His eyebrows knit together, a sure sign that he's about to go into super worry mode. Whatever was on the tip of his tongue gets cut off, though, and he relaxes a bit. ]
I know, you're strong. [ She keeps it together. Gino hopes that she always can. ] That doesn't count you out for taking care of yourself, though.
[ He flashes her a small smile, one that's edged with slight embarrassment. ]
How could I not? I think sometimes you'd forget to eat if I didn't hover.
[ Keeping it together is all she can ever do. She knows almost instantly what goes through his mind, how much more thought he gives to a predicament such as theirs. Akane only survives because she breaks things down to their basest levels, analyzes each one, and accepts every piece for the part of the whole it produces, no matter how broken. To the rest of her Division, maybe even the Bureau itself, it speaks of a stubborn, radical competence. Kindness set on fire, kindness beyond color.
Ginoza must see it for what it really is. A tourniquet. A sturdy fix without the means to truly heal. If Akane doesn't give everything she has to breaking the system down in the same way, then it all becomes meaningless. Choosing Sibyl over Kougami, ensuring that he'd never again have a place among them. Damning the ghost of a man not yet dead, and surviving on wisps of his smoke in her teeth.
She reminds herself, as Gino's fight drains from him beneath her touch. This is what they have. ]
I find time, somehow. [ Her smile is thin now, weighed down. No less genuine, because she can't be anything but with him. ] Like here.
[ From the look on her face, he knows exactly what's going through her head. He's seen that expression countless times before. It's the one that says she still remembers. That she thinks about her decisions from the past in a continuous loop (don't they both; what a pair they make).
She's thinking about the smell of cigarettes, about how the man who smoked them embodies them. Kougami sticks to their minds, their memories, just as much as the tar sticks to a smoker's lungs. It'll be years before they can stop thinking about him, and even then, they won't be the same. Gino doesn't breathe easier knowing that his friend got what he wanted. Instead, he feels like his lungs are compressed, like he's inhaled and hasn't yet exhaled.
Neither of them have. ]
You know I appreciate that you do. [ Because it's easier to bear the weight when they're both holding it up. ]
Regardless of any other reasons. [ It's said with a bit of self-aware humor, something he punctuates with a close-lipped kiss on her forehead. ]
[ They really are two of a kind. Existing somewhere in the present with the past nipping at their heels. Bites come in the form of the way the scent of cigarettes will never be hers. Not in the same way it was his. It's in the feel of knuckles that aren't there on the back of her head. For Gino, maybe he sees his influence everywhere. On the path he walks, in her eyes. When he resists the urge to point his Dominator at her when she asks: What color? Akane can hazard guesses, but finds in this single instance she doesn't want to. Her kindness is honest, and thus never wasted.
Her eyes flutter shut and she does let go of that breath she's been holding. Not worth all the time they'll never get back, but enough for now. It's almost a laugh, light as she leans up into him. Her arms lift to circle his neck and pull him towards her. Like this, she can feel how tense he still is. That's just how they have to meet, his back bowed, and hers arched. ]
Regardless? [ That's the word that holds her attention, as glass might hold in a butterfly. Her fingertips glide through the hair at the back of his neck. Feeling for the strained spots, trying to soothe them away. ] Shouldn't it be "especially"?
[ She's still tense for a moment, but it's broken by her soft laugh. The sound is light, airy, barely there. But her hands are solid and real as she reaches up to pull him (them) closer. He bends to her without complaint, even if the angle is somewhat uncomfortable. That's temporary, though– it's difficult to continue being sore over it when she's around.
Especially since she's threading her fingers through his hair. The motion is so relaxing, tension easing out of his muscles in little pieces. His shoulders drop a bit, stress lowering. It's a bit funny how he discovered that helps after his crime coefficient had already become irreparable. But, going over the "what ifs" doesn't do him any good, as much as he finds himself looping back to it.
What's in the past is there to stay. He'll put his focus on the future. ]
Well... [ Considering she'd be staying in her apartment otherwise. Gino drops his hands to her waist, lightly encircling his arms around her middle. ] ...yes.
[ Call it a victory or call it a stalemate. She pushes the boundary with a gentle hand just to allow him the flexibility to think about it for himself. Akane knows how set in his ways he truly is — how much he shoulders even while worrying about her. Dutiful to a fault, his kind of nobility is nearly old-fashioned. She finds there's really no other way to look at him, not even when the way he reflects on himself is so unkind. Damaged, irreparable. Her sessions with the Professor have made her wise to the darker thoughts that run parallel to the strength of Ginoza's loyalty. And to the way he still carefully pushes them aside when he must. Because he is alive, and that's what matters.
Akane pulls away when his hands settle at her waist. Her arms balance against the juncture of his shoulders, fingers idly lacing behind his head. She goes nose to nose with him, smile warming up, spreading to the rest of her face. Not just because she gets him to agree, but — ]
[ This is how Akane has managed to worm her way into his heart with little effort.
She wasn't like Kougami, who'd come into his life with a bang. Who'd played the hero and stolen his ability to tell him no. And she wasn't Masaoka, who had given him space, who loved him enough to die for him and who he'd misunderstood for too long. Instead, she was a constant. A soft pressure; gentle enough to know when to push and when to let go.
Akane was a bright spot, a clear hue that didn't waver. They leaned on each other when they needed it, but Gino knows how this actually goes. He's been leaning on her for support since he's come back to the force. ]
It's nothing; you're welcome any time. [ His smile starts to mirror hers, expression already less severe with the change. ]
[ Knowing him also means she knows that this is hardly nothing. Not in the same way it might be to those who had less to contend with than they have. Days of paperwork. Weeks of mopping up the residual issues. Soothing the nerves of a hurting society while ignoring their own. Lifetimes to grieve the inherent loss, without the time necessary. They simply have to take what comes. It's difficult, sometimes. His expression gives her heart. So unlike him, and yet she can't think of anyone else who could wear the shift as well as he does.
Akane's eyes flicker over his face fondly. Decisively. Her fingers unclasp, and she tilts her face to lean up into him. Jaw angled, she presses a light kiss to his mouth, capturing his bottom lip between her own. One hand glides over his shoulder and rumples delicately over the material of his shirt. Her index finger snags below his collar, on the first button. Pulling him down to her while she leans back.
If she's welcome, she won't mind getting comfortable. ]
[ She should know that first and foremost: she's always welcome. Always.
Even before things between them had shifted into, well, this. He trusts her, pure and simple. It feels like it's been so long since he's really felt this way. Kougami will always have some of his friendship and they'll have their memories, but he only trusts the man so far. Theirs is a relationship shattered and glued back together. There will always be pieces missing.
It won't be this; Akane pulling him down with her, fingers tugging on his shirt. Like a good Enforcer, he follows, hands planted above her shoulders, steadying. He presses a less light kiss against her lips, hesitance erasing little by little. His real hand moves down, smoothing the creases of her shirt along her side. She's warm through the fabric, as though her personality couldn't be contained by her skin or clothes. ]
[ It doesn't matter how many times they've ended up like this. Each time is familiar enough to ease the tension that bears down on her shoulders, to be solacing, and yet different enough to be noticeable. Like the slow clatter of a lock and key. She welcomes his touch, curving against the movement of his hand down her side, up into the comfortable weight he provides. A laugh bubbles up in her throat when she breaks the kiss, quiet and unassuming. She's always been a little ticklish.
Leaning back and shifting beneath him, Akane reaches up to smooth some of his hair from his face. It's soft between her knuckles as she trails her fingertips along his brow. Impossibly dark against the tone of her skin. She's taken to liking being able to look him in the eye. Not out of assertion, but because they were so much more expressive than he ever seemed to let himself be.
Her expression flicks up, and he taps his cheek. Right below his eye, on the edge of a circle that's started to form beneath the skin. ]
[ Her soft laughter earns a smile curving against her mouth. She's always been good at getting him to relax, to be more of himself and not what he portrays to the rest of the team. It's because she understands and just lets him be. There's no judgment.
But there is worry. Gino can see a little bit of it on her expression as it forms. As she looks up at him and brushes the hair out of his eyes. Her bangs are askew, not sitting neatly across her brow as usual. The rest of her hair is fanned out on the couch cushion, and he thinks she has some kind of magic like this. ]
Can't help it, not when there's a stubborn Inspector to worry about.
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no subject
To fit violent bloodstains neatly behind red tape. Or in the case of her grandmother, to quietly take the calls from her family away from the department. That way, no one has to see her face when they tell her it's better for her to not help oversee it. She's busy, after all, and they understand...
As soon as she's neatly returned a stack of bound and organized files to the table in front of her, she finds her weight resting against Ginoza's shoulder. Exhaustion has a peculiar kind of warmth. A creeping kind, almost. Tangible when it moves within her. When Gino takes a nick at her, a smile curves its way into his arm. It's as fond as it is knowing. Perhaps she's just being selfish by spending so much time here lately. Not just in his quarters, but by his side. ]
Will that be a problem?
[ Akane rarely asks questions she won't get an answer to. And luckily, Ginoza is fond of answers she doesn't precisely ask for. His constant concern over her Hue to balance her rarely thinking about it is one such example. This is another. How it feels right, regardless. Idly, her tired hands smooth at the edges of his sleeve. ]
I won't impose so much when I find the time to move.
[ Divorced from what kept her interest in it, her apartment has simply become another empty crime scene. ]
no subject
No, not at all.
[ His response is quiet, but he means every word. Her idle gestures give him a small feeling of warmth, and he uses his free hand to cover her fingers. ]
You're never an imposition, Tsunemori.
[ That came out bolder than he was usually, but he's not going to take the words back. For one, it keeps her out of her apartment– still one he considered a crime scene, regardless of the fact that they're cleaning up after that case. And well, back to his original point; he likes Akane. A lot. She's everything he wasn't, something he should rightfully feel frustration over. Except he's seen what she's gone through, the sacrifices she's made in order to stand strong. To stick by what was in her core. Ginoza knows he can't be like her, can't deal with things in her way (with a seemingly easy grace). So he'll be a support instead, happily sticking to her side, whether that means he's overshadowed or not. ]
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She happily chalks it up to being workaholics that this wasn't the case. That, and two months of faith that was anything but blind. There is no shadow to stand in as long as he walks beside her, after all.
That's why Akane never wonders at the merit of blood being thicker than water, or interchangeable with steel. Ginoza's gloved hand settles over hers, and she cradles it gently, tracing her fingertips over the unyielding outline. There's a subtle familiarity to her touch, a fondness in the way her thumb glides over the material guarding his knuckles. ]
Is that to keep me from going back to my apartment again, I wonder?
[ Gino is a worrier on the best of days. On the job, she tries to keep herself from taking advantage of it. Here, it's a little different. Her brows arch as she glances up at him. ]
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She doesn't blame him. She never will. That part of their relationship gives him strength– she has more steel in her than he'll ever have. And he'll give everything back to her, all of it, as much as he can. ]
Well...it might be part of the reason.
[ Caught red-handed. ]
I worry. And you're overworked.
[ He doesn't want her to overstress and spend time alone for so long. Especially not after so much loss. ]
no subject
We're likely going to be short-handed for a while. One or two replacements is one thing, but this time... [ Division 1 was lucky enough to gain a new Enforcer quickly. He'd proved invaluable in the short time he'd been brought on. A trial by fire. Others didn't fare so fortunately, and her expression dims momentarily. ] We have the manpower to continue to help. I'll be fine.
[ In retaliation, she brings her hand up from his prosthetic to the angle of his jaw. She has to reach to do so, but she doesn't mind. ]
You're working right there with me, aren't you?
[ This goes two ways, Gino. ]
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But that's for another day. For now, he glances down at Akane, watching her expression go blank for a moment. His eyebrows knit together, a sure sign that he's about to go into super worry mode. Whatever was on the tip of his tongue gets cut off, though, and he relaxes a bit. ]
I know, you're strong. [ She keeps it together. Gino hopes that she always can. ] That doesn't count you out for taking care of yourself, though.
[ He flashes her a small smile, one that's edged with slight embarrassment. ]
How could I not? I think sometimes you'd forget to eat if I didn't hover.
no subject
Ginoza must see it for what it really is. A tourniquet. A sturdy fix without the means to truly heal. If Akane doesn't give everything she has to breaking the system down in the same way, then it all becomes meaningless. Choosing Sibyl over Kougami, ensuring that he'd never again have a place among them. Damning the ghost of a man not yet dead, and surviving on wisps of his smoke in her teeth.
She reminds herself, as Gino's fight drains from him beneath her touch. This is what they have. ]
I find time, somehow. [ Her smile is thin now, weighed down. No less genuine, because she can't be anything but with him. ] Like here.
no subject
She's thinking about the smell of cigarettes, about how the man who smoked them embodies them. Kougami sticks to their minds, their memories, just as much as the tar sticks to a smoker's lungs. It'll be years before they can stop thinking about him, and even then, they won't be the same. Gino doesn't breathe easier knowing that his friend got what he wanted. Instead, he feels like his lungs are compressed, like he's inhaled and hasn't yet exhaled.
Neither of them have. ]
You know I appreciate that you do. [ Because it's easier to bear the weight when they're both holding it up. ]
Regardless of any other reasons. [ It's said with a bit of self-aware humor, something he punctuates with a close-lipped kiss on her forehead. ]
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Her eyes flutter shut and she does let go of that breath she's been holding. Not worth all the time they'll never get back, but enough for now. It's almost a laugh, light as she leans up into him. Her arms lift to circle his neck and pull him towards her. Like this, she can feel how tense he still is. That's just how they have to meet, his back bowed, and hers arched. ]
Regardless? [ That's the word that holds her attention, as glass might hold in a butterfly. Her fingertips glide through the hair at the back of his neck. Feeling for the strained spots, trying to soothe them away. ] Shouldn't it be "especially"?
[ She won't do this with anyone else. ]
no subject
Especially since she's threading her fingers through his hair. The motion is so relaxing, tension easing out of his muscles in little pieces. His shoulders drop a bit, stress lowering. It's a bit funny how he discovered that helps after his crime coefficient had already become irreparable. But, going over the "what ifs" doesn't do him any good, as much as he finds himself looping back to it.
What's in the past is there to stay. He'll put his focus on the future. ]
Well... [ Considering she'd be staying in her apartment otherwise. Gino drops his hands to her waist, lightly encircling his arms around her middle. ] ...yes.
Especially.
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Akane pulls away when his hands settle at her waist. Her arms balance against the juncture of his shoulders, fingers idly lacing behind his head. She goes nose to nose with him, smile warming up, spreading to the rest of her face. Not just because she gets him to agree, but — ]
Thank you. For letting me stay.
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She wasn't like Kougami, who'd come into his life with a bang. Who'd played the hero and stolen his ability to tell him no. And she wasn't Masaoka, who had given him space, who loved him enough to die for him and who he'd misunderstood for too long. Instead, she was a constant. A soft pressure; gentle enough to know when to push and when to let go.
Akane was a bright spot, a clear hue that didn't waver. They leaned on each other when they needed it, but Gino knows how this actually goes. He's been leaning on her for support since he's come back to the force. ]
It's nothing; you're welcome any time. [ His smile starts to mirror hers, expression already less severe with the change. ]
no subject
Akane's eyes flicker over his face fondly. Decisively. Her fingers unclasp, and she tilts her face to lean up into him. Jaw angled, she presses a light kiss to his mouth, capturing his bottom lip between her own. One hand glides over his shoulder and rumples delicately over the material of his shirt. Her index finger snags below his collar, on the first button. Pulling him down to her while she leans back.
If she's welcome, she won't mind getting comfortable. ]
no subject
Even before things between them had shifted into, well, this. He trusts her, pure and simple. It feels like it's been so long since he's really felt this way. Kougami will always have some of his friendship and they'll have their memories, but he only trusts the man so far. Theirs is a relationship shattered and glued back together. There will always be pieces missing.
It won't be this; Akane pulling him down with her, fingers tugging on his shirt. Like a good Enforcer, he follows, hands planted above her shoulders, steadying. He presses a less light kiss against her lips, hesitance erasing little by little. His real hand moves down, smoothing the creases of her shirt along her side. She's warm through the fabric, as though her personality couldn't be contained by her skin or clothes. ]
no subject
Leaning back and shifting beneath him, Akane reaches up to smooth some of his hair from his face. It's soft between her knuckles as she trails her fingertips along his brow. Impossibly dark against the tone of her skin. She's taken to liking being able to look him in the eye. Not out of assertion, but because they were so much more expressive than he ever seemed to let himself be.
Her expression flicks up, and he taps his cheek. Right below his eye, on the edge of a circle that's started to form beneath the skin. ]
You're not sleeping very much either.
no subject
But there is worry. Gino can see a little bit of it on her expression as it forms. As she looks up at him and brushes the hair out of his eyes. Her bangs are askew, not sitting neatly across her brow as usual. The rest of her hair is fanned out on the couch cushion, and he thinks she has some kind of magic like this. ]
Can't help it, not when there's a stubborn Inspector to worry about.